I had a boyfriend once who asked me who the most important person in my life was. Of course, I said he was.
He looked at me intently and said, “No… you are the most important person in your life.”
At the time, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It felt selfish. Completely wrong. How could I possibly put myself before the people I loved?
But he was right.
You are the most important person in your life. No one is going to look after you as well as you can. And if you truly love who you are and value yourself, you will always be your own best friend.
We spend so much time beating ourselves up. For things we’ve said, things we didn’t say, things we should have done differently. The list can be endless.
But if it were your best friend going through the exact same thing, would you speak to them that way?
Of course not.
You’d be kind. You’d be supportive. You’d remind them of who they are. You’d lift them up.
So why don’t we do the same for ourselves?
If you don’t love and value yourself, you are teaching others to treat you the same way.
You may allow people to take you for granted. You may bend over backwards to meet their expectations. You may say “yes” when every part of you is screaming “no.”
And when you don’t meet those expectations?
You feel guilty.
So you keep giving.
Keep adjusting.
Keep quiet.
I know this well, because this is how I lived my life for as long as I can remember.
When you begin to honour and respect yourself, when you start making choices from a place of empowerment, your energy changes.
You don’t need to announce it.
You don’t need to explain it.
People feel it.
They respond to it.
But getting to that place takes time.
It takes awareness.
It takes courage.
And it takes choosing yourself, again and again.
So here’s something to sit with:
What if you treated yourself like your own best friend?
What if you spoke to yourself with kindness?
What if you honoured your feelings instead of pushing them down?
What if you trusted yourself enough to say “no” when you meant it?
Because when you do…
Everything changes.
You are still you.
And you matter most. 💛
